This story is a little bit of a winded one but aren't they all?

My entire (young) life I was in some sort of sport, dance, basketball, gymnastics, oh gymnastics was my thing. I honestly don't remember a time when I wasn't in SOME sort of sport. Being fit was just something that happened. Now I wasn't ever the "skinny" girl or anything like that but I never felt out of shape or anything of the sort growing up. I always felt pretty confident and I know it was because I was so active that it never dawned on me to really worry.

BECAUSE I was so active, paying attention to my eating habits was never an issue. Gymnastics was my sport, sure I did other sports but I lived and breathed gymnastics once I got a little older. Being in the gym 3 nights a week for roughly 3 hours and then roughly 4 hours on Saturdays, also figure in private lessons which were an hour or so on other nights of the week and THEN on top of that meets. My eating habits were just NEVER a worry, which once I got older was something that really plagued me.

I did gymnastics until I was in high school, then once I quit competitive, I continued private lessons with a coach of mine. I was about 16 by the time I quit the sport, and any other sport, completely. At that age I had never truly learned what it meant to really take care of my body. I was always working out so when I was hungry I ate whatever it was that I wanted. This pattern continued. I ate what I wanted when I wanted and never gave it a thought.

It hit hard when I quit and I didn't even truly realize it.

The weight started adding up and having always had an okay body image I didn’t really pay too much attention it. Working out, running, fitness were just not my thing. I always visioned myself as a gymnast, nothing else. Once that chapter of my life was over, that was it, I even had moments where I was so discouraged that I convinced myself that this was it, this was what I truly looked like and felt like, that there was nothing I could do to change anything.

I graduated high school, started college and realized that something needed to change. I just didn't feel good, I was always tired. Eating never really crossed my mind honestly (and I worked at Subway, go figure)... I started doing workouts at home, in my bedroom every single day. I lost weight, not a lot but it worked enough to make me mildly happy.

Then I got bored and stopped. That was the trend from then until after I had Oliver, so for about 7 years I went in and out of training, not training and everything that came along with it.

Fast forward to 2014 after Oliver was born. I wasn't in the best shape prior to getting pregnant and I made sure that I didn't limit myself on anything food related during that pregnancy. After Oliver was born something changed and I realized I needed to get myself into shape, not only for me but for my son. The little note to the entire thing is that looking back I took it to a really unhealthy extreme, I was dealing with pretty intense postpartum depression. I worked out like crazy, I ate as healthily as possible. I took every chance I could to get out of the house and get to the gym, away from my family from everything to work on myself. I lost the weight pretty fast, I was in incredible shape but I wasn't really entirely happy. I loved my son, I loved my family but I wasn't happy. It took a long time for me to really come around and realize that just because I was a wife and a mother didn't mean that I wasn't also my own person. My entire life, my DREAM job was to be a Mom so it never dawned on me, in the moment, that I could be dealing with something so intense. it still seems a little off putting that for someone who wanted to be a Mom so bad, that I could be plagued with postpartum depression (totally different topic but still, it can happen to anyone and there shouldn't be ANY shame in that!!!!! I wish I would have realized it at the time and dealt with it because my oldest sons first six months are so foggy to me because of this!)

Moving along to my second pregnancy, totally different experience. Maybe it was because I had a toddler or because I was aware of what was to come but I was much more in tune with my body and my mental and physical health. I stayed in shape, I was healthier, I didn't gain as much weight... Charlie stayed inside quite a bit longer, about 50% longer than Oliver did! The delivery was much more enjoyable and I was with it the entire time. I love both my boys more than life but I can tell there was such a difference mentally for me between each pregnancy and delivery.

I realized after Charlie was born that I was no longer working out for myself, I was no longer getting fit for myself but for them as well. I realized it was going to be tough and I was willing to do that. Instead of working out outside of the home, I started using the Sworkit App, I worked out at home, joined a few Facebook groups geared to at home working out/eating healthy challenges. I was present and I was getting stronger.

THIS TIME IT STUCK.

There hasn't been that drop off, that boredom I dealt with for YEARS just never crept back up. I can't fully explain it, something clicked and I didn't question it.

Charlie is going to be 3 in July and I can honestly say that I have been actively working on myself emotionally and physically since the day that he was born.

I have been running for the past 2 years, consistently for the first time in my life.

I'm committed, my mind is clear and I am willing to put in the work.

This journey has taken me at least twelve years. 

TWELVE

YEARS

So when someone comes to me with a pitch about a miracle pill, drink or wrap I will politely decline the offer because it is so much more than that. Health and wellness isn’t something that you get form a "quick fix" it's a journey that we all have to go on; maybe we don't all get there the same way and that's okay but what's NOT okay is tricking each other into thinking that it CAN be easy because IT'S NOT. It's hard, it's emotional, it's the hardest damned (sorry but it's true) thing in the world. We have to come to terms with who we are, what we want and work our A** off to get there.

I did participated in the ADVOCARE 24 day Challenge after Oliver was born, yes, but bottom line, that was WAY more MEAL PLANNING based than anything. I also did the Whole30 Diet after Charlie was born, this was 100% meal based, no supplements or anything of the sort at all and honestly, I didn't lose any weight but I did learn a TON about food and learned what I wanted and didn't want to put in my body.

My tried and true method has always been:

I cut soda, added a butt load of water and I drink my coffee black. I track my calories using My Fitness Pal (add me, I like new friends @mmlarose)... I workout daily, I run, I crosstrain (looking at you Sworkit) and I do anything I can to be active.

2006 vs. 2018...

***THIS IS MY PERSONAL OPINION AND WHAT HAS WORKED FOR ME. I DO NOT PRETEND TO THINK THIS IS THE ONE AND ONLY METHOD TO HEALTH AND FITNESS. EVERYONE HAS THEIR OWN JOURNEY, THIS IS JUST MINE***

*CHEERS*