Scribble & Dash: 2012-08-12

Happy hump-day!! We have officially made it half way through the week, which means only a couple more days until the weekend, for me it means only 5 more days until a MUCH needed vacation!!! Seriously, this vacation couldn't come at a better time for me. Over the past few months I have been coming here almost daily and writing my posts to share with you all, and have had so much fun doing it but today I am going to just simply ask for an ear...

Recently I have been thinking about my career path, my life path and then every time I sit down to really think it through, the only thing I ever end up with is... What's next, where do I go from here?! This is a question I have no answer for, at least not yet. I have a long term goal, however I have no short term goals to get me there. I know at the end of the day I love to write, I want to write, it's what inspires me and makes me happy {And sometimes unfortunately for my husband, friends and family, it is my most honest form of communication}. My huge issue, I am extremely picky about what and how I want to write. I am not a fan of journalism, I just can't get excited or into report writing at that level, I don't write well under pressure and I couldn't create an amazing piece on a deadline... I have a ton of respect for those who can do that, and those who are excellent and excel at it, but it's just not me. The downside of my picky-ness, there really aren't many opportunities or jobs out there that will allow me to make a living by just writing. Yes, I know that I should suck it up, and I have thought about it many times, but I just don't think I could stand being at yet another job that wasn't exactly what I wanted. I get that everyone has to start out on the bottom, I have worked my butt off since I was seventeen at jobs that I really didn't care for, I worked my way through college, graduated with my Bachelor's degree without any student loans {I know what it means to work for what you have}, so I feel that I should be allowed to be picky, but at what cost? I have an extremely amazing job right now, as far as pay and benefits go {And the fact that it's with my family, I get to spend a lot more time with my dad and grandpa than I would working anywhere else}; but being a secretary is just not what I want to do forever. I get bored way too easily and having absolutely no room for advancement or even the opportunity to love my job one day, has made it very discouraging {And again, the fact that it's with my family, there is ~~very little~~ no work place etiquette at all, I deserve to be respected}. I love my family, I really do, but working with them every single day can be tiring and can make you look at them in a light that no one should see a loved one. I just want to love what I do, and I want to do what I love, is that too much to ask?! Maybe it is, and I am sure that there will be someone out there who will tell me to just shut it & be thankful for what I have, and I am, I know how lucky I am that I have a great job to go to everyday, one with pretty darn good job security at that. I do not for a second take for granted what I have or the opportunities that have been given to me, I just wish I knew what was going to happen next, I hate the unknown and it seems like I have absolutely no control, it's a terrifying feeling.

I don't really know if there is an answer to any of this other than, "It's just life."

If you made it through all of that, I thank you more than you know. I will leave you with this, something that I need to try my best to remember... "For anyone who is: just keep writing. Keep reading. If you are meant to be a writer, a storyteller, it’ll work itself out. You just keep feeding it your energy, and giving it that crucial chance to work itself out. By reading and writing." Robin McKinley